Whooopeeeee!!!!!!
Sunday I'm back in the UK!!!!!!
I don't really mean whooopeee but I'm trying to make the best of it......feels really strange.....
Obviously it'll be brilliant to see family and friends but peculiar to be out of my life, fledgling as it is.....
And odd to be controlling the rebuild of my house from 5 thousand miles away......
Luckily my pal Marco is overseeing the work for me.....quite an undertaking, especially in a foreign country and for someone else.....
But he already ran the build on his and Ornella's house last summer (here) and you should see it.....it's stunning.....I wrote here about it and it's otherworldly view in September a while after I busted my wee leggy......
Hannah's gonna stay with them for a few days either side of Carnaval......I'm quite jealous.....
But I of course have my shed, I mean erm single bedroomed bungalow with disco sized lounge.....
Well, have is not quite the word as I'm of course no longer allowed to be in the country where I live.....
so hence back to UK.....
.....trying to wangle a permanent visa by becoming officially retired.....
Actually, I always reckoned I retired from gainful employment at 16 after me and my dodgy cousin worked 3 weeks in a festoon lighting factory in Stockport.......we got fired and 2 weeks later they closed down completely......I like to think we helped......but I don't have to think as I know for a fact we did......
......we destroyed such massive amounts of material and machinery that no single moderate sized factory could have survived our onslaught......
Their first mistake was to get us to cut 2 complete drums of cable to size......well, we worked fast on this one, even clipped the outer cover and pared the ends with a Bib wire cutter.....thousands of pieces, miles of cable, days of graft.......only, unfortunately all to a size that was way shorter than they ever used for anything .....oh, in inches....ooops...
Next job......hammering copper contacts into the moulded plastic lamp bases.....ok, think about it.....copper ....hammer ....moulded plastic.....nahhh it's not gonna happen really is it.....
It didn't......
Hundreds, thousands laid to waste.......
Next Job.......they can't fuck this up surely.....hahahaha.......they only set us up with an injection moulding machine each......ohh the fun.....oh the power......oh the carnage......
D'you know how much fun it is to take a couple of bits out of a moulding machine ( the mould as I remember....) and then fill the entire machine with molten plastic.......
D'you know how long it takes to dismantle the machine, clean out all the cooled plastic, reassemble it and get it back into production again.......
The answer is much much longer......
So sorry about that then, festoon lighting company.....
And if you've ever in the last 35 years looked up at the coloured bulbs illuminating your outdoor festivities and wondered "I wonder who made those for us to enjoy.....", just remember, it wasn't me.
I don't think, I know.......

So hands up, who's heard of Funk???

No, not Graham Central Station and the JB's and Mandrill and all dat 70's stuff.....

I'm on about what gets called Carioca Funk, or Baile Funk, or Rio Funk or Favela Funk.....

You know, Funk Parties in the Favelas.....in Rio in particular but in other big Brasilian cities too.....

You should check it out.....no really !!

.....it's a raw kind of dance music that's developed over recent years in the favelas here and has become massively popular, though is little known outside Brasil apart from in a few small pockets of the US......

It sounds a bit like jungle mashed up with early acid house and electro with 303's and 808's and loads of often hysterical samples and shouting gravel voiced mc-ing over the top with some bloke banging on a corrugated iron shed with an iron bar.....check it out....you'll love it.....

It's rawness comes as a bit of a shock to the system at first.....but listen a little longer and you'll find the beats infectious and irresistible.....

And the down and dirty Funk Parties themselves are mental.....they reckon 200,000 people go to one every weekend in Rio alone.....here in Saquarema they have one every week and everyone goes apeshit.....the girls dance a bit jungley and proper, but the boys just loon about frantically and take the piss out of each other on the dancefloor....a bit like early acid house days when you could do what the fuck you wanted.....the important thing is/was just to be there.....

If you wanna check it out, use this link to my fave tune so far http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pP3MR4TiacE

and then if you punch in "baile funk" on YouTube

you'll find loads, with footage of the parties and stuff....there's lots of crap tunes on there but keep going 'til you find a good'un.....the harder and gruffer the better.....

.....there are at least 5 different styles of funk, each with its own afficionados, ranging from commercial stuff, which is lightweight and gets on the radio, to romantic, which samples a lot of R'n'B, right on up to Proibidao which is....yes, you got it, prohibited, and which you can get busted with at the airport. This is the real shit, fresh out of the favelas, doesn't exist except on CD-r and minidisc, with lyrics about gang life and such from the people who live it, recorded without a studio in sight in a room in a shack somewhere......it doesn't come more raw and street than this.....

.....if you're interested in this baile funk stuff, email me and I'll keep you in touch with some upcoming releases in the UK..... nasher53@gmail.com .......

.....I turned my ole mate Mick Moss in Liverpool on to it the other day and he wrote back.....

"Brilliant. Thanks.
I like a bit of harsh and primitive.
What I really love is when kids get hold of some not very good gear and try and play it.
It never turns out the way they want. But it usually turns into something new and better.
Like you say, it's the idea that grabs you first.
As with most new music - it's great until the BIZ gets its grubby hands on it. Still, you gotta live.
I still like hearing the Rocksteady Crew and all that old Sugarhill stuff."

..... check out Mick's site at......

www.emc2.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk

.......music, poetry, writin' an art an'stuff ......an' some free downloads.....

While I'm at it, here's the address for my mate Jemma's new blogsite....

....check it out why doncha????

http://eyespeeled.blogspot.com/

....on which you can find the link to the site for Lusi village in Kenya to which the following is the intro.....

WelcomeRafiki wa Maendeleo means 'Friends of Progress' in Kiswahili. Thank you for your interest and time to learn more about our initiatives in Western Kenya. Together we will make a difference.
What's Inside...Inside is a brief story of Lusi Village, and this community’s approach to developing initiatives that help them to meet some of their very basic needs. Establishment of their program initiatives has been possible through the help of hopeful orphans, committed community members, and the faith and trust of donors who were willing to give them a starting chance. Together, they have created the beginning of a self-sustaining community, and have inspired neighboring communities to believe that they too can progress to create a brighter future.

......right, I'm off out to get drunk and dance about like a cretin until my last remaining leg falls off on the floor......whooooooooops.

Just too late.