.....JUST SNEAKING A BIT IN HERE TO SAY THAT I'M NOW TRYING TO PUT SOME PIX UP.....HAVE BEEN OFFLINE FOR A WEEK DUE TO ISP PROBLEMS BUT NOW HAVE NEW ONE AND IT APPEARS TO WORK.....PIX ARE OF MY BIRTHDAY DIN DINS LAST WEEK FEATURING MY MUM MARIA AND FAMILY......

........so here we are then......a period of transition.....unfortunately not for me......limited communications, spectacular real estate, nearly hurt my leg, (again), ( actually,
bollox, I did ) and in an unprecedented escalation in the War with the Mosquito collateral damage rises to unforeseen and horrific levels......

(oh and happy birthday to me ,happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me,ee, happy birthday to me.

Monday.

Fifty three.

Actually, mebbe best forget that.

Hurrah, I'm 53, lets go clubbing.......pull some chicks....neck some pills.......

No. Forget the whole thing. At least I still have my dignity.)

...........Afraid my comms have been down almost continuously for 3 days......I guess that deserves a fnaar fnaar....they're upgrading the antennae along the coast apparently.....the signal gets bounced from one to another I guess from Rio.....it seems to have been shit since I did my leg conveniently.......

.......re birthday prezzies......better be something for the living room this time round.....doesn't matter what it is , as long as it's fucking ENORMOUS.......THATS THE GREAT ADVANTAGE OF AN ENORMOUS 150 SQUARE METRE OPEN PLAN LIVING ROOM....IT MEANS YOU CAN REALLY SHOW OFF ALL YOUR STUFF........like my pen, and my tiny notebook and my tiny Poruguese phrase book and my ermmm mini pocket clock and my erm....,my nail clippers, oh no, they wouldn't let me bring them......well, I've got some chilli sauce, and an onion......and I could keep the pot the tomato puree came in and use it as a glass.....in fact I think they proobably want you to.......why do they??

.......and no, I haven't told Maria about the War of the Mosquito, nor of it's unavoidable collateral damage (her guest house bathroom).besides , women have no place in a war zone, and that intelligence is available on a need to know basis only.......in fact intelligence doesn't come into it and it's not available to anyone anyhow. And that's it. Anyway.

........so since I spok wichoo last......ermmmm.....Marco and Ornella, he's actually Hebridean, that's isles off Scotland, no wonder I didn't quite get the accent!!, and she Italian.....he was the guy I talked to re. visas....they arranged to take me out to their house yesterday....turns out it's opposite Uli's little condo.......turns out it's the bit of land I'd looked across the water at and thought wow wonder what dat is over dere??!!

........hard to describe something thats so beautiful its indescribable......the plot is 5,000 sq mts, waters edge but for 2 metre lagoon beach, row of wide spaced big palms, then 30 metres back, the house....beautiful....they designed and ran the building of it themselves in 3 or 4 months nov to feb or march ish this year, lots of nice details like the balustrades similar, prob the same as the ones round Uli's pool at the big house, just at the corners of the varanda with lovely chunks of marble on.....apparently each balustrade costs £1.50 !!

..............The living room is big and open plan by Brasilian standards, with large-ish windows looking out front....I would've done one big one as out front does not describe the view.....Mombaca, Uli's mountain has spectacular views, but this is something beyond altogether....it's honestly like it's been composed by a great artist for the opening of the greatest movie ever made......I watched it spellbound for 3 hours, as it changed continuously up to and through the sunset......unbelievable......Its like someone took a giant canvas, drew perspective lines and went to work, giving every one of the layers the perfect composition......I said to Marco that it was the most beautiful place I'd ever sat in my life....true.......and then bring in the lighting man and make each layer a bit different every few minutes.....at one stage the lagoon was gold......and the pointiest mountain is exactly in the middle.....and the sun sets behind it....not in the centre of course, that woul be crass, no just off to the right!.......it's actually hurting that I can't show it to you!!!!

...............they have a very funky open plan kitchen, the only one in Brazil we think!........(brasilians seem on the whole pretty conservative as far as houses go......those that've got one, that is!) .......as you look in, you can't see cupboards or fridge, just a big room with a big island in the middle back to the far wall covered in deep black marble, with sink on one side and hob on the other and thats it...fridge etc are kind of to the sides and behind you....you can see them from back of kitchen but not as you look into it.....

........they said Brasilians come in and look in the kitchen and go ".....so where is it???"............brazilians judge houses by (preferably large) number of bedrooms which must be en suite, regardless that the en suite bathroom is about the same size as your arse, ok, my arse....don't care about a view, and must have a barby. They're not too bothered about how nice, how spacious, how stylish, how functional......and kitchens are tucked away and separate from the social goings on, dark, unventilated, very poorly designed and equipped....why?...because they all have poor fucking cooks!!

...........the amazing handmade sofas which they designed, are made out of hardwood and before cushions cost £125 each craftsman made......the coffee table, 4x4 foot inch thick marble plus + shaped wooden base cost about £35 to have made....the beds are handmade steel kind of spanish cathedral shaped....they're brilliant.....they designed 'em and had 'em made......every thing in here was designed and handmade by craftsmen for fuck all.....Marco reckoned stuff handmade is half cost in shops here for similar ish stuff and 4 times less than UK.......I'd say keep counting......so the whole house, land purchase, two bedrooms, big bathrooms, furniture, marble and tiles everywhere, oh and a roof terrace over the whole house where apparently the real view is ?!?!?!?!?!? etc, oh and a guest house..... cost........£65,000.......if this was Florida, it wouldn't be as nice and it would be a several million somethings.....

.........course I should point out I've been stuck in a small house alone with a wheelchair for 10 days so mebbe it's shit and it was just me not getting out much............awwww cummon i aint da count of monte cristo....no it really was quite nice, well ok apart from the view which I found rather dull..........oh I forgot to mention that because the lagoon is mostly so shallow, every now and again you espy a distant fishing person up to their knees or thighs, standing right in the middle of the masive lagoon.....as I said....look it's jesus with short legs............

....my other 2 mums, Debora and Sonja have just whirlwinded me and the house.....clean everything inc. tablecloth and flowers.....earlier they schlepped me up to the outdoor kitchen ( i went up the steps on my bum to save them killing themselves up the slope) for an excellent lunch......I'm eating a lot less, and very well......gradually swapping main meal of the day from dins to lunch.....all this important partic while inactive, but also better after too.....can work off a lunch but not usually dins.....taking less insulin most of the time too......soon I will be very pretty..........don't know what my weight is but must weigh less....I feel quite different......my arm joints are much better since here, can reach up full height and behind me without shouting!!


...........Apparently the reason this area is a bit less than it should be is because the mayor has stolen most of the money here for the last 3 electionsworths.....he started as mayor with nowt and is now a millionaire......he pays local poor 10 reais for a vote, and flies round in a helicoptor, and as I suggested to them, everyone looks up from their poverty and goes" ....oh look, we must be doing well......" I think that sums up Brazil in general. Scum, a lot of them elected, stealing from the people, and then when spotted flaunting the proceeds, the the poor victims go "ooooh things are looking good for us then.....what a great country we have where a man can do so well for himself....."
Just like in the UK only not as subtle, but we poor dumb bastards still lap it up, generation after generation.
..........Marco & Ornella's daughter calls Saquarema the state of Saquarema.....it's like a small country and this scumbag is the king of it all.

.........also interestingly they ( Marco and Ornella ) were going to buy the tennis club last year when it first came up.....the owner bumped the price on them at the last minute so they pulled out.....Marco described their plans for it.....some cutting in to the main space but quite nice....breaking up levels and ting.....similar island kitchen in main space to mine.....only my idea has two counters so you can operate towards garden or towards interior and not right in middle it so it doesnt dominate so much....nice plan, but prefer mine.....however it brought up several issues to consider which I hadn't. Which is nice.

.............Very hot and sweaty today.......need clean clothes and another shower.....shower is much hassle with leg but I'm getting quicker at it......yesterday hurt my leg when being wheeled out of house here....one big step down and I realised I'd lost it so I leapt for it and put weight on bad leg heel, boot heel actually.....momentarily til I realised and moved weight to good leggy......later leg hurt, not on break but in meaty bit at back of calf......hurt more and more and in restaurant later it was getting a bit rough.....my main worry was that Mum would give me a bollocking!!!! Not to mention the other two Mums. Got back and took das boot off, and decided that the meat of the calf had been wrenched by the boot heel taking a bang, but break was fine......so wore my dvt sock (thanks for that!!) and hoped support would rest the meat for the night......this a.m. leg was fine ( apart from it's broken obviously)......look mum, I'm a doctor and everything..........I told Debora earlier and said don't tell Maria....but I told her anyway......hard work when she's exploding and pulling horror faces at me !!!!!
........btw Sonja sends you big kisses!!!

.......waiting for Maria to go Supermarketski.......big outing for me......although already have my dins......leftovers from restaurant....Marco got a bit carried away!! ........we realised during meal, well the first part, that we were eating fish and chips Brazilian style....bite sized various bits of fish done gently in a light batter with a big bowl of Braz style tartare sauce and chips......communal on a big tray with limes ........I couldn't stop thinking Hannah would, no , will love this.....same at their house looking at the view.....and sauces including English sauce.....worcestershire of course.......... Change of plan....supermarket tomorrow at 8 am instead.....stil trying to get batteries for pix and a shave!! I look like some shaggy old foreigner stranded in a foreign country with a broken leg! hmmmmmmmmmm?


.....well must dash....can't send this but will when I can.......
lots of love from daddypoliticallactiveagainnearlybutpleasedontshootmecozIdidntreallymeanitandcouldhaveagoonyourchoppercuzI'vebrokenmylegonyourunsurfacedroadyoucunt?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


On a lighter note....the other day I sat down a bit heavy on the bog due to difficuties of manoevring broken leg and made it wobbly, cistern was half off but I hooked it back on ok.....well ok, you asked about the war against the mosquito......I was sat having a poo this a.m. and spotted a big one.....moz not poo........so I grabbed the bum squirter....I prefer bum gun......and took aim above allowing for reaction and water weight, and got the bastard.....down he went .....drowning on the floor...but I knew the little shit would dry off and survive to fight another day so I looked for a secondary finishing off weapon and grabbed my water bottle....
..........bang bang bang I banged...hahahah the bastrds aaaargwater tumbling plastic cisterns pipes shit water everywhere broken leg slippery aaarg wet tiles i'm soaked by whole fucking plumbing system landing on my head and all about me.......
.........so I'm stood with pooey bum, trousers drenched and down, broken leg boot soaked, bathroom in an inch of water, plumbing everywhere and still gurgling out of cistern at my feet, laughing cos I fuking got the bastard!hahahahhahahahahhaha
........so I manage to put plumbing back together and hook cistern on the wall again and all is well if rather wet......sit down to finish off "the job"......finish and wipe with lumps of drenched bog roll......move forward to stand up....all this with broken fucking leg mind, and whole thing starts again, worse this time cos cistern is exploding pumped water out......I've got it in my arms off the floor while it pumps gouts of water all over me and the bathroom.....I attempt to put it all back together but this time its all wrenched out of the wall and is completely fucked.....I make my escape.......
"Maria, tenho um pequeno problemo com o banheiro" I shout from my doorway.
Best I don't tell her about the mosquito.
But what if they find the body?
In the distance I'm sure I hear the sneering laughter of a billion tiny insects.

........well thats my morning so far....did you get the stevealligator gif??
.......re estate agenting....any marketing ideas or people with money who might like to buy??
..................must go have brekky......Arlindo and Fabino busy working away in the bathroom......if they only knew!!?
.........Maria just told me there's a slight problem.....no toilet 'til tomorrow as cement won't be dry.....I indicated a bucket....she laughed. Or was it those tiny fuckers again?

..............I mean I know this may all seem ridiculous or pathetic or even amusing.....but it really is my life!

................lots of love from DaddyWildManKillerof ermm quitebig,ok,physicallyadmittedlytinybutverydangerousinsects.



Hya ###### baby....thats a nice surprise!!.........yep, the big wide world is exciting and dangerous, but I wouldn't wanna live there....
.........weather here crap too, as is food, company, beer, ents, comms and all.....I just happen to like it like that.....lucky that!!
......I feel great.....broke leg doesn't seem to have daunted me much....or mebbe I'm used to being a bit fucked....it just turns into the washing up if your head is up........
.....so,ready for a gig in my tennis club?? well ok, my house!
...my daughter already asked if she could run the club for me....what do people think of me.?...don't they trust me?....it's a house....that's all....just a house....it just has a floor the size of a disco.....and a mezzanine the previous owner put dj's up on , erm, when he ran discos......but thats then, and this is now.....it's my living room honest....
honest.......love,Nash XXXXXXXX