Saturday, September 30, 2006

Well here we have a selection pack of pics, some trawled from my mobile archives and some....not.
First up, my fantastic eldest daughter Hannah on the left with my ace mate and complete party nutter Alexis.....actually that also describes Hannah. Taken at my going away finally you fat bastard and don't come back ever party in the Love Lounge at the Bell in August. Wicked night, great DJ's with surprise live set from Oedipus. Thanks lads ( and Shorn ) ( and Dj's ).

Next an Eisensteinian Montage second only to The Odessa Steps sequence.....Radders's 40th at the Ring o'. Must be about 15 years ago eh Radders?? I think Jamie may have snook these. Don't forget you can click on these and they become four times bigger than life itself.

This is to make up for my exposing Murph to ridicule in the previous post....me in my psychedelic band period......as always, the question "what went wrong?" springs to mind.......and later in fathering mode with Hann when a little younger (tho' already quite a party babe!)......
OK....a little further down the line brings me to Grandfathering mode....Here are my brilliant younger daughter Ruby and her kids...Jayden above Hannah and Cole below......their Dad Stuart at the back, and Hannah's boyf Bono in the fore..... all outside my most excellent and long suffering mate Toby's house in Batheaston where I had free reign for several weeks before running off.....nice one Tobes! Has all my family moved out yet??
......now pic of the house whence I am at the mo'......here the pool, which surprisingly is being cleaned just prior to my arrival by Mr. Ian Wood. Thanks Ian.....missed a bit.
.....and a long shot...quite nice isn't it.....I'm actually in one of the guest houses this side of pool.....
.....which you can see on the right....I started off in a small apartment on the left there but the big one was deemed easier with a broken fucking leg....hahahahahahahha......and it is......
.........and now perhaps some email excerpts......thin on the ground lately as not much has happened and connection was out for a week......

........oh yeh, had drive out with fabino yesto....went all over to bits I didn't get to before leg debacle.....went to Itauna...the trendy more expensive surfing area othet side of the ocean access to the lagoons......really stunning.....no real centre as in a town, but a definate central area of happening by the beach with bars and tiny surf and clothing shops.....roads asphalted and loads of greenery and very quaint and lovely......I'd prefer to live there but awful when busy I expect and quite a lot more expensive for houses.....maybe later after buying and selling one or two.....housing ladder and all that....I'll see it in season first.....season is very short, jan and feb then hot weekends rest of the year....
anyway blablabla.....

......the following written to friend who gave me going away prezzie of fold up tiny travel towel....

....I realised recently you weren't on my mailout list and I had fucked up.......was about to email you last week but my comms broke down.....I wanted to write and tell you how I was held up by gangstas in Gaza (as they call it) in Rio in Fabino's car and he and another guy were badly beaten and I escaped harm because I disguised myself WITH THE BLUE TOWEL YOU GAVE ME as THE BLUE TOWEL YOU GAVE ME......but I can't, because it didn't happen. Well, I can, because I just did, but it still didn't happen. However I did dry myself with it a couple of times, which is probably more what you had in mind anyway. So thanks!!
Hope you are well and groovy......here is cool tho' I am close to dulled out of my mind now and again, but 3 weeks of my sentence is gone and only a bit more 'til I get crutches (mmmmmmm Brasilian crutches...can't wait to get my hands on 'em I used to think.....little did I know back then.........)

......re incapacitation....

..........Still uncapatualated and just had a week without internet connectivification so aquired Brasilian TV aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh sexisms quite fun isn't it when you get used to it.........I still went oh my god at every bum shot but I learned to live with it. Have been bored to fuck but at least I've got me health. Been out of the house in car 4 times in 3 weeks which is nice.....clinic, someones fab house, supermarket and all over the place yesterday.....which was nice.
Supermarket was interesting....my pal Fabino trying to push me in mini wheel wheelchair and shopping trolley at same time whilst doing the shopping.....I had a cunning plan tho'......place trolley at various strategic points and fill and empty a basket on my lap.....he was quite impressed I think. Hurrah! O Successo!
Must dash and cook some exotic steamed veg and brown rice and fish.....the fish isn't brown. The rice is . Brown. Can't get anyone here to even taste it!! Much like England! (No I don't)..........
....................lots of love from Nashface aka The Shortsighted Mister Lagoo

......Re mosquitoes, fly spray etc.....

.......Chemical warfare has been tested and is effective, particularly emotionally. Actually got one feeding on my momentarily exposed broken limb today......gave it a good fucking wack and near went thru the roof.....got the bastard though. Satisfying but painful. Last Supper was the same for him I expect.
Also apply lime juice liberally to exposed bits around 5 each nite.....that keeps em off....til you do some washing up or whatever. Bastards.
.............must dash, well roll, and eat.

......re ditto....

Hello Blossomtoes!!! No,the War continues...... just got one of the bastards in the bog......another was sat waiting on the bogroll to shoot up my arse I expect....didn't get him tho. It's getting like my skinhead fighting days.....you know where they live, what their names are, and you even know who their girlfriends are and try to shag them just to fuck them off! (ok I haven't tried to shag a mosquito's girlfriend yet, though there is one I've had my eye on......) (Must try to get out more. ED.)

......re link to pilot for Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers Movie etc from Andy Davis (whot him and Leon are doing the music for).......which is.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YINWUjFQRDU

....check it out, it's excellent....

....love the movie and the track and the site....in fact, I love you ......... ".....NOWWWWW AT LAST III'VE FOOOUUUND YOOOOOOO! ..." .................Breaks into massed Busby Berkeley Style Wheelchair Number with a Latin flavour....at this particular moment that would be spaghetti bolognese......i am literally eating it as I "type"...I can hear a voice saying reprimandingly ".......thats not how you type "type"...." the voice is that of my mother........still.

.......and for some reason I wrote this to a person......

......I am a bit bored with houseboundedness.....might have crutches next week....spect theyre shit as well.....

still, at least I've got me health

still, could be worse, could be raining

still,there but for the grace of god....

still, every cloud has a silvery, erm, thing, in it

still, many a mackle macks a muckle

still, where theres muck, there's brass

anyway, the joke is that this horse and this duck go into a Sayings Shop and the horse orders all the above Sayings from a Sayings Catalogue but when it comes to paying he becomes reticent, and, knowing that the duck is a regular customer, and therefore has an account, persuades the duck to add them to his account, assuring him that he will reimburse him at a later date.

so, does that make all the above sayings duck billed platitudes?

...or not?

I realised that as most of my viewers are British, to avoid losing their attention, I should include two very important things, both held dearer than dear by those in the UK.....the first being a bar......yes, not only a sunken bar by the pool, but sunken bar stools in the pool. This is where I'm staying!! Really...they let me stay here!
The other, of course is doggy woggys. Below a shot of my constant companions who, when the pic was taken some weeks ago, still adhered to the house rules of barely crossing the line into the house...now they wander freely into my pad and even get on the sofa occasionally.....all this to the abject horror of any nearby Brasilians, who shout at them and at me......I just smile, open my arms in self excuse, and say "sou Ingles"....."I'm Inglish"............
Suzee on the right and Blackee on the left (obviously)......emphasis on the italics (obviously)........


BELOW WE BEGIN A NEW SECTION CALLED "READERS SNAPSHOTS"......AKA "THE BASTARD WENT AND POSTED THEM......."
hahahhhahahahha YES, I DID..........


Well I'm afraid that this is a prime example of what happens if you make the mammoth mistake of sending me pix when I'm stuck in a wheelchair with nothing to post about but mosquitoes. Sorry Murph. For everything. And for posting the pix.
Andrew is here seen at a fitting for a starring role as a musician in the days of yore, in a big Hollywood movie about somebody called Anne going Bowlin' and giving head to someone called Henry on the fifth.....sounds more like golf to me......though what do I know....I'm a tennis man myself....

The film apparently also stars the gentleman below, which would explain why they're dressing Andrew and the other boys in such ill fitting and baggy trousers......leaving as much room as possible for "gentlemens' improvement". I'm trying to be polite here........
I'm not sure I can follow that.....going back to the mosquitoes seems somehow.........shit.

To the Ortho Clinic on Wednesday.....mebbe on to crutches hurrah.....

Yesterday I became a fully fledged estate agent......I put Uli's small lagoonside condo onto a couple of real estate websites for sale....he's in Germany for some time and asked me to sell it for him....how strange is that.....very. Here they are. It's the one I wrote blurb for previously for Uli's site. But this time I paid for the ads and wrote it and put non-wiggly lines on pix and everything. I'm so proud.

http://www.viviun.com/AD-64494/

http://realestate.escapeartist.com/P-2004096/